The Whistler Travel Guide for People Who Don’t Ski

There’s a contingent of humanity who see “sliding down the side of a mountain” as a euphemism for “inevitable hospital visit.” If that resonates with you, here’s how I spent a leisurely, luxurious Whistler weekend, blissfully devoid of ski poles and sans goggle sunburn.

Friday

3:30 p.m.: Checking In

Just north of Whistler in the WedgeWoods neighbourhood, the 12,000-square-foot paradise that is the Wedge Mountain Lodge and Spa (9120 Riverside Dr., wedgemountainlodge.com) promises pampering and spa-like relaxation without the immediate risk of tumbling down a mountain: perfect for a non-skier like me. Designed for groups of up to 20, the full lodge rents out starting at $6,500 a night, but prices can reach up to $28,500 per night during the holidays—so yes, you could say it’s exclusive. And slightly swankier than my usual accommodations, sure, but they say you should do one thing every day that scares you so… let’s go.

On arrival, I’m greeted with a champagne sabring reception—an experience that screams “decadence” with an added dash of “potential for injury,” but it’s still safer than me navigating Blackcomb’s slopes. The glass-encased wine cellar at the entrance to the lodge is a shrine to boozy opulence. My suite, one of 10 chic chalet rooms, has a private patio overlooking the coastal mountains. There’s no firepit here, like some of the other rooms have, but I’ll make do with the lodge’s private movie theatre, personal chef, pools (one heated, one cold-plunge), hot tub, sauna area and exercise room. Donning my cozy chalet robe and slippers, I immediately and happily abandon my former life in favour of this new Mountain Glamour Goddess persona. I’ll later fall asleep on top of my bed in that robe, but still.

6:45 p.m.: Home Cookin’

Dinner is courtesy of our own private chef Bill Grimshaw, but there’s also top-tier staff here who float in the background to cater to any Peak Diva whims. (They’ll even laugh at your puns! Now this is five-star service!) The meal is a love letter to the region’s best local producers, and, more importantly, fondue: a great way to experience chalet culture while justifying the eating of So. Much. Cheese.

We feast on braised short ribs, fresh lemon-zest-dusted salmon roasted with veggies and another round of fondue—this time, of the chocolate variety and featuring fruit and house-made marshmallows. (Fondue is a major part of the Mountain Glamour Goddess lifestyle, I’m quickly learning.)

9:00 p.m.: Taking the Plunge

The best way to ward off a post-fondue coma? By taking another kind of dip. If you’re a cold plunge die-hard, you can easily go from hot to cold in the 3,000-square-foot spa here at Wedge Mountain. Challenge accepted. I move from the sauna to the ice-cold pool, Wim Hof-ing my heart out under the stars.

Saturday

10:00 a.m.: On the Up- and-Up

While skiers and boarders clomp around in their boots trying their best not to face plant on the stairs, I’m in my leisure-casual best, headed up on the gondola to experience the beauty of the mountains without the need to slide down them. The Peak 2 Peak gondola (whistlerblackcomb.com) is the perfect, easy ride between Blackcomb and Whistler mountains: I’m lucky to nab one of the special ones with a transparent glass bottom. It’s not for the height-wary, but I get to sit the whole time and I don’t need to know how to brake—gondola riders, 1; snowboarders, 0. After my peaceful high-flying mountain hop adventure is done, I grab an obligatory selfie standing triumphantly in front of the Olympic rings, partly because that’s as close as I’m ever going to get to them, and partly because I feel like a winner.

12:30 p.m.: Above It All

All that leisurely sitting and high altitudes works up an appetite, so a natural stop for both athletes and relax-thletes (coined it here first) is Steeps Grill (4853 Springs Ln., whistlerblackcomb.com), perched atop Whistler Mountain in the Roundhouse Lodge (we go Peak 2 Peak and Lodge 2 Lodge around here). The vibe is “busy chalet” meets “fancy mountain pub,” and the menu is about the same. The short-rib poutine ($28) is as good as it sounds: fries smothered in slow-cooked beef and squeaky curds (we relax-thletes need to carbo-load too), with some crispy kale snuck in for good measure. Then, after filling up on panoramic views and slow-cooked meats, it’s time for me to head down (not that way, though!).

1:00 p.m.: The Village People

Party central awaits at the foot of the mountain. This is the intersection of athlete and patio, where nightlife begins after lunch and college kids can be found dancing on tables and coordinating theme outfits (in this case, the theme appears to be denim). I’m not particularly in the mood to hop up there with them (is it the poutine or my knees? A lady never tells) so instead I stroll the Village promenade, popping into Ruby Tuesday (26a–4314 Main St., rubytuesdayaccessories.com) to peruse some glittery things—I’ve been flirting with the idea of an anklet for a while now—and then Helly Hansen and The North Face (4295 Blackcomb Wy., hellyhansen.com; 32–4314 Main St., thenorthface.com) to see the latest outdoor gear and fantasize about what my heli-skier alter-ego might wear, then Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory (210–4293 Mountain Sq., rockychoc.com) because chocolate. If shopping is a cardio experience, then maybe I am an athlete after all? Let’s call this a Mountain Glamour Goddess workout.

5:00 p.m.: Happier Hour

I have done no alpine activities today, so I’m not sure, technically speaking, that I can call my afternoon drinks “après,” but the locals don’t care when I join them at Garibaldi Lift Co. (4165 Springs Ln., garibaldiliftco.com) for some craft beers, socializing and comfort food. The prime-rib beef GLC burger ($24) on a scallion bun is ultimate comfort fare, particularly after adding blue cheese ($3), and the accompanying waffle fries are a revelation in this skinny-fries-obsessed world. I post up on the heated outdoor upper patio for some prime people-watching, a stiff but very ginger-forward Dutch mule ($18) as my plus-one, as we spectate the Village shenanigans like a sport before an après-après nightcap at the most exclusive cocktail bar in Whistler: my suite at Wedge Mountain Lodge.

Sunday

10:00 a.m.: Culture Crawl

After pocketing some more Chef Bill scones for the road, I hop in our chauffeured van (fancy me!) and get whisked away to the Squamish Lil’wat Cultural Centre ($25 admission for adults, 4584 Blackcomb Wy., slcc.ca) for a guided tour through the historical regalia and artifacts that reflect the rich heritage of the Squamish and Lil’wat Nations. The hand drum welcome song is the soundtrack to exploring stunning hand-carved canoes, totems (one recently completed by Lil’wat master carver Jonathan Joe) and historical garb, each accompanied by thoughtful storytelling and interesting facts. (Did you know there used to be a specific dog whose fur made up most of the local community’s textiles until it went extinct?) The short documentary Where Rivers, Mountains and People Meet plays regularly in the theatre, and gives me another glimpse at the beauty and heritage of the Squamish and Lil’wat Nations.

11:30 a.m.: Art Smarts

Next on my historical culture crawl is the Audain Art Museum (4350 Blackcomb Wy., audainartmuseum.com)—the building itself is an architectural work of art hidden within the B.C. landscape. Inside, I find equally compelling art pieces, starting with the red cedar wall (The Dance Screen [The Scream Too]) that greets me. There are nearly 200 works by B.C. artists in the permanent collection here (Tom Thomson, Emily Carr, Stan Douglas), along with a significant Northwest Coast First Nations mask collection and a showcase of many legendary and contemporary Indigenous artists. The one-hour public guided tour is well worth it (and is included with the $22 admission, so why shouldn’t I?) but just wandering through the building itself (all wood, slate and glass) connects me to the landscape in a way that makes the art resonate.

1:00 p.m.: To the Skies!

Honestly, I’m anticipating the ziplining to be a nightmare experience. How many times can I express that I do not want to be hurled down a mountain this weekend? But the fearless leader of our Ziptrek Ecotours Eagle Tour ($129, 4282 Mountain Sq., whistler.ziptrek.com) straps me into a harness, carabiners me (that’s a verb, right?) to a giant rope and sends me flying into the air and over Fitzsimmons Valley… and the bird’s eye view turns out to be a (heart-pounding) joy.

It’s an adrenaline rush paired with an eco-education—an unlikely but delightful combo—as the staff educate me about the flora and the fauna in the area while I catch my breath from silent screaming my way across valleys. Five ziplines lead to four treetop bridges, so the whole experience lasts around three hours, and I’m grateful I grabbed an OG Box from Picnic (snack size, $15; 113-4368 Main St., picnicwhistler.com) before I zipped. The on-the-go charcuterie set is packed with local cheeses, meats, artisanal crackers and veggies along with a variety of nuts, chutney and pickles: basically the Mary Poppins bag equivalent of snack box, and absolutely Mountain Glamour Goddess fare.

6:00 p.m.: A Chill Dinner

My Whistler weekend culminates with a unique dining experience at Bearfoot Bistro’s “The Magic of Maple” pop-up (4121 Village Gr., bearfootbistro.com). The staff have donned their best plaids with blue jeans, which amuses the regulars but only reminds me of every boyfriend I had during the early 2000s. The Quebec-inspired pop-up includes a thoughtful multi-course meal (from $50) including (duh) maple-inspired cocktails, but the seasonally inspired regular menu here looks pretty good too (no offence to Chef Bill back at the lodge): think wagyu beef, Périgord truffles and Berkshire pork. Full on this maple feast, I descend for a tour of Bearfoot’s 15,000-bottle wine cellar and the Grey Goose Ice Room—the world’s coldest vodka tasting room, which was cooler than I thought it would be, pun very much intended.

10:00 p.m.: Sweet Dreams

As I tuck myself in for one last night at the lodge, I feel both rejuvenated and downhearted. Rejuvenated because I’ve experienced the pinnacle of luxury… and downhearted because this Mountain Glamour Goddess has a sink full of dishes waiting for her at home. I can only hope this brief but beautiful taste of the good life hasn’t ruined me. Turns out I am an outdoorsy winter person—so long as a private luxury lodge is involved.