Importance of Traveling With Your Nuclear Family

My 13-year-old daughter sent a postcard to us while we were still away on our most recent trip to California. It arrived at our house about a week later. The heartfelt note nearly brought me to tears and filled my heart.

“Even though we still have two days … of adventures ahead of us, I am just so grateful for everything we have experienced together on this trip,” she writes. “I am so glad we got to take these adventures together.”

That’s it right there. Article over. Thesis proved.

Our youngest daughter is just about to turn 11 years old. In those 11 years, we have never taken a true vacation as a family of four to a place we’ve never been. Yes, we’ve traveled to our family home in Vermont. But it’s a place we always go—both with and without our extended family.

Yes, we’ve gone on great vacations with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins to places like Ireland and Maine. And yes, we had to deal with almost three years of something known as a global pandemic.

This vacation to Southern California was our very first extended, long-distance trip together. Here’s why we thought it was so important for us to see new things and do new things with our two girls. The bottom line: It’s all about creating those memories with our children.

They Grow Up Way Too Fast

I mentioned earlier that next month our youngest turns 11. Then, two months later, our oldest turns 14. Like most parents, I have no idea where the time has gone. But I also feel like these are some of the best ages to travel with kids.

At these ages, I’m hopeful they will remember this vacation—not only through photos but real core memories. They will remember the rattlesnake crossing our path at a park in Malibu and the seal pups in La Jolla. They will remember running through Disneyland at rope drop in order to get on Rise of the Resistance at Galaxy’s Edge. And they will remember how every time the server came to ask, “How is everything?” at a restaurant, their dad would answer, “Oh it’s fan-tastic!”

They are able to do so many things now they might not have been able to do when they were younger. We can be more active, try new things, go to nicer restaurants, travel lighter, and (for the most part) they are flexible and able to go with the flow.

They can help plan the trip with input on things they might like to see and do. They asked about surf lessons (more on that coming up), and our older daughter asked if she could take a drop-in dance class at Playground LA, a well-known dance studio in Hollywood. We made both happen.

But in some ways, on this trip, they also showed us they were still our little girls. They both held our hands at various times over the course of the nine days we were away. I can’t remember the last time they held our hands (willingly).

They reached for our hands in crowds at both Disneyland and Universal Studios. But it wasn’t just reaching for comfort. They walked hand-in-hand with their dad down the beach at night at the Hotel del Coronado and we walked down the street holding hands on Hollywood Boulevard as we checked out the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Those are memories I’m going to hold onto. And yes, I will remind them of these times the next time I reach for their hand and they pull away.

Experiencing New Places and Activities Together

Going to new places and trying new things together for the first time also helps build memories. While my husband has been to Southern California several times, I’ve only been there once. The kids have never been to the West Coast. And despite my husband visiting the area before, we still got to see and do things he’s never seen and done.

We tried to keep up with each other as we rode e-bikes together for the very first time on Coronado. We laughed and dropped marshmallows in the sand as we roasted s’mores on the beach at the Hotel del Coronado. We watched our younger daughter climb in the cockpit of fighter jets as we explored the USS Midway. We got to see the awe on their faces as we saw a real space shuttle at the California Science Center. And we took fun and silly photos in front of the iconic Hollywood sign.

One of our favorite family bonding moments came when we took a family surf lesson in Santa Monica from Aqua Surf School. It was the first time any of us tried surfing, although it was something the girls had been interested in. The smiles on the girls’ faces were everything. They were so proud as they stood up on the board and rode the waves one by one. We laughed together as Clare took a wave in, and yelled “Watch out!” as she managed to dodge people. And we laughed even harder at some of our wipeouts.

It’s Still Important to Travel With Extended Family Too

Don’t get me wrong—it is still very important to travel with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins too. As my mom likes to say, “We’re not getting any younger.” We do have trips planned to Arizona with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. And my parents are planning to take us to Israel within the next couple of years with my brother and his kids.

These are also precious memories made between grandchildren and their grandparents. It gives both my parents and my mother-in-law no greater joy than to spend time with their grandchildren (and I guess us too) and see things through their eyes. My dad has never been a huge fan of Disney World, especially in the heat. But to watch our kids and their cousins experience it was a time he will always treasure.

My girls love their two cousins. The four of them are thick as thieves and have so much fun together. For them, extended family vacations are the best; it’s like an extra-long sleepover and playdate. And next to siblings, cousins are built-in best friends. It’s nice for them to have that bond.

Traveling with my parents and brother as a grown-up also brings me back to a time when I traveled with my nuclear family as a kid. My brother and I were fortunate to take amazing vacations with our parents as kids. We went skiing out west, we hiked the Grand Canyon, did a two-day, three-night horseback riding and camping trip in Yellowstone, and visited Niagara Falls—just to name a few.

Those were core memories I have with my nuclear family growing up. I can only hope to continue to create the same wonderful memories traveling to new places and having new adventures with my husband and children.