Why traveling couples are driving fellow passengers absolutely nuts
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- Some traveling couples exhibit annoying behaviors, such as pressuring others to swap seats.
- Other irritating actions include public displays of affection, loud arguments, and faking special occasions for upgrades.
- Experts suggest this behavior may stem from stress, a lack of awareness, or a sense of entitlement.
Of all the annoying things couples do when they travel, the coerced seat swap may be the worst.
Kirstyn Allen saw it on a recent flight from Atlanta to the Caribbean island of St. Maarten. Two newlyweds boarded the plane after her and pressured another passenger to give up their assigned seat so they could sit together.
The displaced passenger sat down next to Allen.
“She seemed flustered and annoyed,” recalled Allen, a business consultant from Atlanta.
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Allen said it was the couple’s attitude that really set her off. They acted as if they were entitled to sit together on the plane and that the other passengers – especially those traveling alone – should defer to them because of their couplehood.
Couples do the most annoying things when they travel, and no time is worse than now. With Valentine’s Day just a few weeks away and spring break on the horizon, the lovebirds are in the air once again.
“There is something about travel that flips a switch,” said Mairéad Molloy, a relationship psychologist based in London. “Suddenly, ‘we’re in love’ becomes an excuse for the most tone-deaf, attention-seeking, and inconsiderate behavior imaginable.”
How annoying are couples who travel?
Ah, so glad you asked. There’s a (ranked) list:
▶ 5. The coerced seat swap. When couples travel, they sometimes make their problem someone else’s. And nowhere is that more evident than in the forced seat swap, which Allen experienced. “Couples need to realize that if they have a problem, it doesn’t mean they have the right to inconvenience other travelers to solve it,” said Amber Lee, co-founder of the Select Date Society. “For example, couples will often fail to pay to choose their seat on the plane and then expect other travelers to switch seats so that they can sit next to each other.” Her advice: If you want to sit together, pay up.
▶ 4. The club. You know, the mile-high club. This is a broad category of misbehaviors, ranging from excessive public displays of affection to actual lovemaking on the plane. And there are variations of this annoyance. Rosalinda Randall, a San Francisco-based etiquette expert who offers workshops on courtesy and manners, spoke with a client recently who was seated next to a couple on a plane watching their own sex tape on an iPad. “They made oohing and moaning sounds as they watched it,” she said. “It was a very awkward situation.” And completely avoidable, too. Wait until you land. Then get a room.
▶ 3. The loud argument. “One of the most annoying and disturbing things is when a couple argues, fights or raises their voices in front of people on the airplane,” said etiquette expert Maryanne Parker. There’s a reason people fight during flights. Travel, and especially air travel, can be stressful. (Some people I interviewed for this story have even watched a relationship end in midair – that was painful to watch.) Parker’s advice? Work out your differences before you travel – or don’t travel.
▶ 2. The fauxmoon. Couples who claim they’re on their honeymoon in an effort to get a free upgrade are among the most annoying. Carla Sophia Layton, founder of the Socialite University School of Etiquette, calls these fauxmoons. “Couples who falsely claim honeymoons or anniversaries to snag perks may see it as clever, but it violates etiquette’s cornerstone: honor,” she said. If you want an upgrade, pay for it.
▶ 1. The lack of common decency. Perhaps the biggest crime traveling couples commit is “the cardinal sin of being cringe,” said Lorena Basualdo, a luxury travel advisor who specializes in European vacations. “We know you’re on vacation and you’re so in love, but can you peel yourselves off of each other in public?” she said. This is a distinct category from the Mile-High Clubbers, whose lewdness is much more inappropriate. “I’m absolutely all for people enjoying traveling with their partner, but you still need to be considerate of other people and have respect for those around you. Public spaces require a bit of restraint.” (Also, excessive public affection can be illegal in some countries. Maintain a safe distance at all times!)
Why are couples so annoying?
The reasons behind these increasingly grating behaviors are complicated.
“It usually comes from a mix of stress, narcissism, or lack of awareness that they’re sharing space with hundreds of other people,” said John Keegan, a dating and relationship coach.
In other words, some couples are in their own world, oblivious to the discomfort and irritation they are causing their fellow passengers.
“Remember,” added Keegan. “Travel is a test of emotional maturity. Stay present with each other, but also stay grounded and respectful of your environment. You don’t need to prove your connection — you need to live it without being a spectacle.”
How to handle an annoying couple
Dealing with an irritating couple on a plane isn’t easy, but here are a few tips:
- Move. Get as far away from an annoying couple as possible. If you can change seats, that fixes the problem with minimal fuss.
- Politely ask them to stop. Use your “pleases” and “thank yous” and channel your inner diplomat. Some couples have an “us-against-the-world” mindset, so you have to tread carefully.
- Ask a flight attendant for help. Crew members are trained to deal with troublesome passengers, such as amorous or entitled couples. Leave it to the pros.
I know – not the best options. Maybe the best option is to sit in a seat that guarantees you won’t be next to a couple. That would be an aircraft with two seats side by side in economy class, common on aircraft such as the Airbus A330, A380, and Boeing 777. If you’re on a plane with a 2-4-2 or 2-3-2 configuration, and you’re in one of the “2” seats, you’re probably safe.
But it’s no guarantee. Consider what happened to travel writer Emily Hines when she was on a flight from Los Angeles to Maui, an island famous for its honeymooners. A couple in economy class did not allow the aisle between them to stop them from getting it on. They held hands and kissed for almost the entire six-hour flight.
“It was a completely full flight, so lots of people were walking the aisles with babies and heading to the bathroom, while flight attendants with carts were also present,” she recalled. “They would hold hands until people tried to walk by, and then they would immediately rejoin hands.”
Come on. Maybe the only thing that would be worse than a honeymooner blockade would be getting loudly guilted out of my seat by one of them. But I already have a prepared answer: No.
Christopher Elliott is an author, consumer advocate, and journalist. He founded Elliott Advocacy, a nonprofit organization that helps solve consumer problems. He publishes Elliott Confidential, a travel newsletter, and the Elliott Report, a news site about customer service. If you need help with a consumer problem, you can reach him here or email him at [email protected].
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